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My dad (a.k.a. Mr. Agnes) was recently roasted by his friends on a forum at
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I've seen much meaner roasts, but I thought Dad would appreciate having this on record.
(Please note that I did not correct any spelling or punctuation. I am leaving the messages exactly as they were posted to the DTFC message board.)
It all started with this post from Jake.
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| oops. Sidekick of enquiring minds wonders what he hath wrought. The enquiring
mind has decided that the public roast is a good thing, and should continue
(now that his own ass has been roasted, IMO.)
Today's victim, as nominated by the in absentia swizzle stick, is Mr. Agnes. Tell us his dark secrets. Is there such a person as Agnes Doubleday? |
Then the madness ensued. Here are the posts from Dad's DTFC buds...
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| He is the one who brought me the goat........... |
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... Aggie is a mellowing influence on me. He has a very gentle way, both here
and in e-mail messages of letting me know that there are other positions that I
may not have considered. He's been an indispensable help as a proofreader for
my pieces as well.
Call him a guiding hand. Although the majority (if not all) have the ability to disagree without being disagreeable, Aggie has it down to an art form. He can completely disagree with something I've written without ruffling a single feather (we artsy-fartsy types tend to be sensitive sorts). My favourtie memory of Aggie was from PnB ... I'm habitually an early riser as I was with PnB. So I was down in the now famous Golden Griddle to grab several cups of coffee and read the paper, Aggie was soon along to keep me from doing so and engaging in some baseball chatter instead. Something I thoroughly enjoyed I might add. Very pleasant talking baseball with Aggie one on one. Best Odie |
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Just when you think you have posted a well thought out arguement about
something, here comes Aggie with a better written arguement with the exact
opposite opinion. Dammit, he makes you think. And since I usually get to the
DTFC page before that first cup of coffee in the morning, that is not nice.(wt)
Can't wait to meet him at WAB, so I can try to convince him to see things my way. Later |
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i have no idea how a man who doesn't drink can go into a bar at 1pm and pretty
much stay there til 2:20am with a group of other people who putting em back as
fast as they can - and keep a big smile glued to his face the whole time (even
as one drunk is dumping all over american guilt as represented by jackie
robinson)....special kind of man our aggie...
i dunno, anyone ever seen him not smiling????....must be prozac or something.... darned good man...named his kid agnesbeth - u gotta respect that...regards |
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I've always had quite a bit of respect for Aggie, but that respect turned to
awe the day we saw Trot Nixon hit 3 dingers from the No. 9 spot at P-n-B, and
Mr. Agnes came up with the name of the last (only?) guy to do that. Amazing.
Obscure Stats "R" Us. That's Agnes.
He's also a really friendly guy, too. You'd expect him to be a Mr. Spock-type, but no... he's a quiet, unassuming, and really friendly guy. And I still can't believe he broke his leg at the company picnic. - N. |
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If there's a side to an argument that hasn't been presented, count on Aggie to
present it; he's great at seeing things from all different points of view. Upon
meeting Aggie in person, I couldn't help but wonder how often he was listening
to what I was saying, and thinking to himself "Jeez, that Canuck has no clue".
I guess that tells you how much I respect Aggie's knowledge of the game. Of
course, as Odie mentioned, he's too nice to say anything, and if he does, he
makes you feel good about being wrong.
After the Chatham leg of PnB was over, I found several Oriole trinkets and a couple of tapes form Aggie's band in various spots around the house; well placed gifts which, as is Aggie's way, were given quietly, without fanfare. |
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| he walked up and hit me over the head with the Baseball Encyclopedia but after reading all these comments I can't wait 'til he gives me the warm and fuzzies by telling me how wrong and stupid I am sometimes. Are there any income possibilites from that kind of thing? |
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'cuz Aggie looks just like the guy who breaks his leg silding into 2nd base in
the AFLAC commercial........which for some strange reason was exactly how I'd
picured him.....though he doesn't walk like he has a broken leg.
I concur with Kit on Aggie's seeming endless supply of trivia answers.....if I'm ever on that dumb millionare show, Aggie's my lifeline for baseball trivia. Greg sez he's had beers with Nelson since his disappearance......but I've *still* seen no photographic evidence that Nelson isn't in Aggie's trunk, methinks mr. lowercase is covering for our mysterious friend.......anyone who's always smiling *and* always sober simply *must* have some hidden sociopathic tendancies. |
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For a bunch of know-nothings, you sure summed up my father pretty well. (Guess
I'm not as good at that diplomacy thing.)
It's hard to argue with a man who is always right. Just ask Mrs. Agnes. The best thing about Dad is the things he says that are so unbelievable, but for some reason, they're credible because he said them. You'd think I would have caught on by now but, alas, no. Evidence that Dad did, at one time, drink: During an O's/ChiSox game. The Black Sox were up to bat with the bases loaded, and the score was 5-1 (or something) in the bad guys' favor. Dad said that if the batter hit a homer for the O's, we'd be all tied up. I asked him if that had ever happened before. He recalled, "It seems to me it was two or three years ago, and I was drunk." Hint: if you ever want to drive Aggie nuts, just say something like "that's not how Abner Doubleday envisioned it." Anyway, thanks for all the nice things you're saying about Dad. Sara |
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However, he once accused me of being a Yankee fan when I first visited this
board. I had to set the record straight, so I wrote a document "Why I am a KC
fan". A lot of my friends who are Royals fans seem to like that document. It
was the start of my horse & buggy web site.
Therefore, I owe Agnes a big thanks for helping me start my website, and for giving me the impetus to explain my fandom. Here's to you.. ol' boy. I thought of you when I was in Royals Stadium last year when Mark Quinn cracked two home runs in hismajor league debut, equalling a record for precocity tied by three other players, including Campy Campaneris. |
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after all, from the number of deals between the two clubs (going back to the
50's) wasn't KC the Yankees' "farm team"? And before that, they WERE the Yank's
AAA club.
Where are you now, Suitcase Simpson? BIGwt Later |
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the 'i am a kc fan' one i mean...i hadn't read it before....
at birdbath we tried for 2 games to get our 'dftc birdbath' sign on the jumbotron...every time they scanned the crowd and showed fans on the jumbotron, one of us would take a turn waving the sign, hoping that a camera would catch it...none of us had any luck..until...in the last inning of the second game, the one odie almost got us kicked out of, as the camera did it's final sweep of the crowd, there in the middle of the jumbotron picture, holding the 'dftc birdbath' sign, was mr. agnes...smiling as ever for the 40,000 in attendance...i figure he had upstairs pull... |
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As nica a man as you can meet and as quick with facts as well.
I'll always be grateful to Aggie for giving me his special Mug root beer glass from the Golden Griddle to complete my pair. I moved out into a new apartment the week after P'n'B and for the first 2-3 weeks those were the only glasses I had in the house. Good man, that Agnes. |
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From the man himself
Mr. Agnes: Yogi-ism |
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Thanks to everyone who made this event necessary.
I tried to avoid it, but I just couldn't. Royal Rooter, I apologize for calling you a Yankee fan. Somehow I got mixed up there. Odie called me an idiot, but at least he didn't call me a Yankee fan. Kit, the music I play is different from the music I listen to. I always tell people that the band plays bluegrass gospel music, but some of it's not bluegrass, and some's not gospel, and some's not music. We're in the studio again next week, and everyone will get a chance to hear the results at WaB, if not before. Overall, I'm just overwhelmed and humbled. Gee, fellers, yer swell. |
Last modified: Fri Jan 14 14:32:45 EST 2000