10. The Count now says "point 0" at the end of every number.

9. All bug Muppets will now be renamed "features."

8. Oscar the Grouch now resides in the Recycle Bin. "Do you really want to delete Oscar?"

7. Mr. Snuffleupagus sings the Microsoft sound whenever he wakes up.

6. Sesame Street's renamed TheStreet.com, inspiring a lawsuit against Microsoft, in which high-tech attorneys learn how to share.

5. Cookie Monster is renamed Cookie Friend and sells his book, "How to Track Who's Using Your Site for Fun and Profit" with continuously running onscreen banner ads.

4. Internet Explorer, Netscape, Opera: one of these things is not like the other...

3. Bilingual Maria replaced by DJ Jazzy Drive who speaks COBOL, BASIC, Fortran, Pascal, Oracle, C++ and something called, Adobe Acrobat.

2. Bill Gates admits that he's been doing the voice for Kermit the Frog since 1989.

1. "Brought to you today by the number of users accessing the show for free, divided by the number of employees creating the back-end viewer software and selling it through online portals at greatly reduced rates in exchange for brand recognition."