As in other human relations, the key is in communication. Don't like something your advisor is (not) doing? Talk to him/her. You are not happy with the topic? Talk to your advisor again. You feel stressed out or have family problems and cannot work for a while? Talk to your advisor. I have a lot of friends that are still in grad school, that occasionally get angry with their advisors because they feel neglected, they would like more help from the advisor, their advisor is never around, they feel pushed too hard, etc. I myself have also experienced some of these feelings. Rather than assuming that your advisor hates you and will not work with you, try talking to him/her. Maybe he/she has just failed to notice that there is something you need.

It is very important that your advisor be happy with your research. This is because this person holds in her hands keys to your graduation. If she dislikes your research, you will have hard time graduating. First step: talk to him/her some more. If things definitely don't work out between you two, maybe it is time to switch. There are very few professors I have known that had bitter feelings when their student wanted to switch to a new advisor. Usually, people won't mind and will actually assist you in the transition if you explain them nicely why you want to switch. In all cases I have known the switch really helped the student's progress towards the degree.

The same philosophy about 'being happy with your research' holds for your committee members. If there is a professor you would like to have in your committee but is not enthusiastic about your research (or is known to give hard time to students in the past), think again. Having someone who does not approve of your research, in your committee, doesn't make sense. They will only hinder your graduation, whereas the role of your committee members should be to help you along.

If at any time you feel you have a serious problem with your advisor or other faculty member, you may consider arbitrated dialogue. You should talk to your department chair or student legal services and ask them to help you.

Short point summary

• Talk to your advisor
• If talking doesn't help, consider switching the advisor
• Make sure that both your advisor and committee members like your research
• If you have serious problems with a faculty member, seek help from University services