From buddy Tue Jul  2 01:27:17 1996
Date: Tue, 2 Jul 1996 01:27:15
Subject: The Top 17 Signs You've Had Too Much To Drink at Your Company Picnic


          The Top 17 Signs You've Had Too Much To 
               Drink at Your Company Picnic


17> You loosen your tie, despite the dirty looks from the 
    other accountants.

16> You brazenly blurt out the percentage of mouse feces 
    and rat hair that the FDA allows in hotdogs.

15> Your perfect Elvis impersonation goes terribly awry 
    when that big wave of nausea kicks in.

14> You decide to show the boss YOUR version of a "golden 
    parachute."

13> Bernie from accounting feels the need to admonish, 
    "Slow down, pal.  This ain't no Kennedy reunion!"

12> The people in charge of the Diversity Program don't 
    seem to care much for your Buckwheat impersonation.

11> You resurrect that old "Pull My Finger" routine for 
    the folks from the home office.

10> Your overly enthusiastic karaoke rendition of "Beat 
    It" lands you in jail for public lewdness.

 9> You organize an "Armpit Orchestra" to play "Hail to 
    the Chief" when the CEO arrives.

 8> You offer to teach the boss your procedure for 
    making "Butt Xeroxes."

 7> You attempt to qualify for the 3 legged race -- solo.

 6> You remember *what* to kiss, but forget *whose*.

 5> Evidently a bear's not the only one who can shit in 
    the woods.

 4> You keep calling your boss "Boo-Boo" and bugging him 
    to help you look for "pic-a-nic" baskets.

 3> Last words you utter before passing out?  "Slide, you 
    fat bastard!  Slide!"

 2> Everytime CEO pauses during big speech you scream, 
    "FREEBIRD!!"


      and the Number 1 Sign You've Had Too Much To 
           Drink at Your Company Picnic...


 1> "But everybody pees in the pool!"  
    Not from the diving board, my friend.