From buddy Tue May 14 07:20:09 1996
Date: Tue, 14 May 1996 07:20:07
Subject: so, you have a pentium....huh huh


Why a pentium is like a penis:

When a guy first realizes he has one, he plays with it for 2 weeks straight.

The more money you spend, the more hard drive you get.

Guys are always comparing the size of them.

For enough money, ANYONE can own one.

Floppy drive?

Once you are on a pentium, you never go back to a smaller model.

No matter how big your hard drive is, it is more important how you use it. 

Men like playing games with it. (In fact, so do some women)

After a while, men begin to think with it.

Sometimes, it goes too fast and you can't see what you are doing.

If you know how to push the right buttons, you can get a lot out of it.

If you aren't experienced enough to use it, speed doesn't matter.

If you use it too much, your mother board just might explode.

Every once in a while you have to clean it.

Pentium envy....nuff said

Every once in a while you need a hired professional to come and look at it.

Extensions are available on the market.

If you wait too long, it becomes obsolete.

You can smear chocolate sauce all over it and lick it off.  (Note: this is 
not highly recommended for the pentium) [also try peanut butter]

If you use it too often you might get a virus.

To optimize performance, you occasionally need to cover it.

Most people like to play with their pentium in private. (hired professionals 
excluded)

If you don't insert the vital parts in the correct places, you don't get 
proper output.

Everyone is always looking for a hook up.

There is always room for jello (Note: this might inhibit the functioning of 
the pentium).

Ladies, always have a backup.

You get called names if you use it too often.

If a man finds out you have been using someone elses pentium, he tends to get 
jealous (He remidies this by buying a bigger hard drive)

Parents worry when their children know more about pentiums than they do.