From buddy Fri Jan 20 10:36:01 1995
Date: Fri, 20 Jan 1995 10:35:48
Subject: top ten

TOP TEN WAYS TO GET DUMB GUYS TO VOTE FOR YOU

10.  Promise to replace Presidential limo with Monster Truck

 9.  Pass out campaign buttons and say, "Look, free shiny things!"

 8.  Promise that if you win, you'll help them get the mouse traps off
     their feet

 7.  In "Nightline" interview, keep calling Ted Koppel "Mr. Snapple"

 6.  Say you'll bomb the ever-lovin' shorts off every coutnry whose name
     ain't spelled U-S-A

 5.  Promise to publish a "Where's Waldo" book in which the only thing on
     each page is Waldo

 4.  Put bucket on head.  Wander around mall parking lot.

 3.  New campaign slogan:  "Uhhhhh....."

 2.  Begin every speech with, "I am like a box of chocolates!"

 1.  Free circus tickets