From buddy Fri Jan 20 10:36:01 1995
Date: Fri, 20 Jan 1995 10:35:48
Subject: top ten

TOP TEN SIGNS YOU'RE NOT GOING TO WIN THE ELECTION

10. Your campaign manager keeps mispronouncing your name.

9. On outside of letter you get from Publishers Clearinghouse: "You may
   already be a loser!"

8. Campaign rally chants of "Four more years" refer to your prison sentence.

7. Your "motorcade" is down to a rental car and a fat kid on a bike.

6. All the TV ad time you bought was on CBS prime time.

5. You rise to offer a rebuttal during a televised debate and the moderator
   says, "Save your shoe leather, Junior, we're all voting for the other
   guy."

4. Next to your name on the ballot it says, "Yeah, right."

3. Gennifer Flowers won't return your phone calls.

2. During debate, your opponent says, "I knew Forrest Gump, I worked with
   Forrest Gump, and you're no Forrest Gump."

1. Even you voted for the other guy.