From buddy Mon Aug 14 02:55:53 1995
Date: Tue, 19 Oct 1993 14:03:20
Subject: in the news


                In The News - Excerpts from the LA Times
                     Includes some late night humor
                      Reprinted without permission

WARNING (cont.) - May also be offensive to balding men (like me, though
I'm pretty difficult to offend) Clinton, Dan Quayle, drinkers and
(perhaps) SOME women...

Now that Disney and ABC are merging, the team from "Pocahontas" will be
brought in to somehow animate Ted Koppel. How Roseanne will fit in to
"The Happiest Place on Earth" is anybody's guess.

A super union merger of the United Auto Workers, United Steel Workers
and the Machinists and Aerospace Workers is also in works. This means
the people who brought us the Pinto will be working on the space
shuttle? Scary isn't it? Management will mark the occasion with the
ceremonial cutting of the wages.

"Waterworld" enjoyed a $21.6 million opening weekend. This should be
just about enough to cover the catering. The most depressing thing about
watching Kevin Costner in the film is that even in the distant future,
they still haven't found a cure for baldness.

President Clinton hosted Boys Nation at the White House. The Boys Nation
is 100 boys who want to be just like the President. Just in case they
were, the Secret Service doubled their security around Chelsea.

Kato Kaelin is now hosting a radio show on Los Angeles' radio station
KLSX. As part of the deal, he'll live rent free in the guest cottage
behind the station.

The new movie "Operation Dumbo Drop" is an amusing and true story about
secret attempts by the GOP hierarchy in 1992 to get Dan Quayle dropped
from the ticket.

And finally, a new study claims that a moderate amount of alcohol can
help a person think. Right. You not only think the woman at the end of
the bar is beautiful, but that she's also interested in you.