From buddy Mon Nov  7 19:31:07 1994
Date: Sun, 12 Jun 1994 18:34:09
Subject: Humor List Reader test (clean)


               HUMOR LIST MANDATORY READER TEST

INSTRUCTIONS:

1. Please read the question before answering it.
2. Do not answer more than one question at a time.
3. Do not get nervous. Only your ENTIRE FUTURE is riding on this test.
4. We don't buy the invisible ink trick, unless, of course, you are
   packing a 9mm.
5. Do not launch any mucus missiles during the test at other students.
   However, if you do, and you hit them square in the forehead, it
   doesn't count against you.
6. You have 17 seconds to complete this test, so please take your time.

YOU MAY BEGIN

MATH

1. Write down all the numbers between 1 and 32 zillion.
2. If Johnny had 4 apples and Jill 2 grapefruits, how many apples would
   Johnny have left if he got Jill pregnant?
3. What number am I thinking of? (Hint: it starts with either a vowel
   or consonant)

HISTORY

4. When the USA attacked Iraq in the Persian Gulf War, how many surrender
   flag factories, working around the clock, did it take to fill all the
   orders placed by the Iraqi Army?
5. Name 10 reasons why we shouldn't blow Mexico off the face of the earth

SCIENCE

6. If E=MC2, what is x-14 divided by 1/3-M168 x6.3 to the 4th power.
7. Is it true that all pigeons are born full size, and if not, why is it
   that no one has ever seen a baby pigeon?

THEOLOGY

8. Draw a picture of GOD.
9. Redraw it, that one was wrong.

MULTIPLE CHOICE

10. You have been put in charge of the 1996 Olympic Games in Atlanta. You
    have been directed to come up with a few new events so that poor,
    undeveloped nations can participate too. Which of the following
    events would you recommend?
    A. Synchronized vomiting.
    B. The foreign aid beg-off.
    C. Competitive drowning.
    D. Shooing flies away in front of network television cameras.
    E. Some of the below.