From buddy Mon Nov  7 19:03:55 1994
Date: Wed, 26 Jan 1994 10:09:55
Subject: geeky math/science jokes


A chemist, an engineer and a mathematician were stranded on a desert island.
Eventually their food supply dwindled to a single can of beans which they
could not open.

The engineer proposed that he could calculate the exact trajectory necessary
to slam the can into a sharp rock without spilling a bean.

The chemist said that this was too risky and that she could set the can in the
sun to get the gasses to expand so that it would gently pop open.

The mathematician said, "No, no.  You're both trying too hard.  I have the
easiest answer:  assume a can opener!"

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A mathematician was asleep in his room at a hotel when suddenly the fire alarm
went off.  He walked into the hall where he spotted a fire extinguisher and
said, "Aha!  A solution exists," and happily went back to bed.

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A statistician, a mathematician and an accountant were all asked the question,
"What is the sum of 2 and 2?"

The statistician replied, "3.98 +/- 0.03 at the 98% confidence limit."

The mathematician replied, "4".

The account closed the door, shut the curtains and said, "Tell me, what do you
*want* it to be?"
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When Albert Einstein's Theory of Relativity became universally accepted, but
before he was internationally famous, he was invited to give many lectures on
the topic.  One day he came down with a case of laryngitis and was afraid that
he would have to cancel a lecture.  "No problem," his driver told him, "I've
heard your lecture so many times I can repeat it word for word."

As Einstein watched from the back of the room, the driver delivered the speech
flawlessly but afterwards was confronted with a question.  Without missing a
beat the driver replied, "That is *the* most stupid and elementary question
I've ever been asked.  I bet even my chauffeur can answer it......."