From buddy  Mon Feb 26 17:33:31 1996
Date: Mon, 26 Feb 1996 17:32:15 
Subject: assorted

         An irate woman once told Churchill, when he was a young man and
temporarily sporting a small mustache, "Young man, I like neither your
politics nor your mustache."
        To which Churchill replied, "Madam, you are not likely to come into
contact with either."
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     A professor asked a student to remain for a few moments after class.
Holding out the young man's assignment, the professor said, "Did you write
this poem all by yourself?"
     The student said, "Every word of it."
     The professor said, "Well, then, I'm glad to meet you, Mr. Poe.  I
thought you were long dead!"
                                ........
     Money may not be everything, but it sure keeps the kids writing to you!
One college kid wrote home, "Dear folks, I've been worried sick because I
haven't heard from you.  Please send me a check so I'll know you're okay."
                                ........
    And...another college student wrote a letter home:  "Dear folks, I feel
miserable because I have to keep writing for money. I feel ashamed and
unhappy.  I have to ask for another hundred, but every cell in my body rebels.
 I beg on bended knee that you forgive me.  Your son, Marvin. P.S....I felt so
terrible I ran after the mailman who picked this up in the box at the corner.
I wanted to take this letter and burn it.  I prayed to God that I could get it
back.  But I was too late."
     A few days later he received a letter from his father.  It said, "Your
prayers were answered.  Your letter never came!"
                                ........
     And this request was by phone:  A college student calls up his parents.
"I need another two hundred dollars."
     At the other end, his father says, "I can't hear you."
     The boy SHOUTS, "Two hundred.  I need two hundred!"
     "I can't hear you."
     The operator cuts in, "I can hear him."
     The father says, "Good.  YOU send him the money!"
                                ........
     The professor announced:  This test will be conducted on the honor
system.  Please take seats three apart and in alternate rows.