From buddy  Wed Jan 24 18:27:00 1996
Date: Wed, 24 Jan 1996 18:26:56
Subject: oracle


The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:

>        I am perplexed by this situation am am in.  Help me oh oracle
>     for whom exaggerations are understatements!  There is this girl
>     I really like, and she likes me as a friend too, but that isn't
>     the problem...The problem is that she is my best friends sister.
>     She doesen't know how much I like her yet  because I am afraid
>     that If I do ask her, I will lose my freindship with her brother.
>     What should I do?    Please tell me o wise oracle!

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} The answer to this age old siblings&friend triangle problem differs
} according to the querent's socio-economic status, lifestyle, hobbies,
} and other interests.  I advise you to pick the groups you belong to
} from the following list, and apply the related answer to your
} situation:
}
} Subject likes                Answer
} -------------                -----------------
}
} Hitch-hiking                 Don't panic.
}
} Football                     Punt.
}
} Internet                     Seek advice from people you don't know.
}
} Hunting                      Stalk her.
}
} Rock Climbing                Go rock climbing.
}
} TV                           Enlightenment lies in The Simpsons.
}
} Reading                      Check out Wuthering Heights.
}
} Dancing                      Sweep her off her feet.
}
} Origami                      Become withdrawn.
}
} Zymurgy                      Invite them both over for a "taste test".
}
} Writing poetry               I suggest a sestina or villanelle.
}
} Business                     Who is richer?  Buy low, sell high.
}
} Cooking                      Turn to low heat and let simmer.
}
} Acting                       Cry to both of them for simpathy.
}
} Astronomy                    Think of how tiny you are.
}
} War                          Be all you can be.
}
} Game Theory                  Move first.
}
} Occult                       My sources say No.
}
} Skydiving                    You might as well jump.
}
} Mime
}
} Music                        Try Blues.
}
} Drawing                      Act weird.  Stare a lot.
}
} Painting                     Cut off your ear.
}
} Weightlifting                No pain, no gain.
}
} Motorcycles                  A motorcyclist wouldn't ask.
}
} Monty Python                 Run away!  Run away!
}
} Cross dressing               Go ahead.  Ask him out.
}
} Running                      Hill training might help.
}
} Comics                       Which one looks most like Hopey?
}
} Medicine                     Prozac.
}
} Star Wars                    For all we know, she's *your* sister!