From buddy Thu Jan 13 10:57:18 1994
Date: Fri, 19 Nov 1993 21:15:29
Subject: STILL more harmless quotes...

The Law of Initiative: Initiative belongs to the one who takes it.

The shortest path between two points goes across the lawn.

There are three ways to get something done:
1) Do it yourself.
2) Pay somebody to do it.
3) Forbid your kids to do it.

The Law of Male Chauvinism:
Women don't need any money: they don't smoke,
they don't drink, and they're already women
themselves!

The Law of Logic:
Logic is a systematic method for arriving at the wrong conclusion with full certainty.

The Law of Credibility:
If you tell someone that the universe has 500 trillion stars,  he'll believe you.
If you tell him a bench has just been painted, he has to check for himself.

The Law of Airplanes:  You will always get down...

Politicians often confuse the request that they should meet a problem with an open mind,
with meeting it with an open mouth...

A compromise is the art of dividing a cake in such a way that
everyone thinks he has got the largest piece.

In politics everything is possible -- until you get elected.

The Pizza Law:
The largest slices of pizza are always on the opposite side.

The Law of Jam Jars:
Anybody who tries to open a jam jar after you have given up, will
always succeed.

All mushrooms are edible, but some can be eaten only once...

The Law of Confusion:
 When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

The Law of Deadlines:
If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would ever be finished.