From buddy Thu Jan 13 11:12:33 1994
Date: Thu, 9 Dec 1993 13:55:00
Subject: May be offensive to Clinton supporters

                     BILL CLINTON STATUE COMMITTEE
                         LITTLE ROCK, ARKANSAS

Dear Friend and Fellow Voter:

We have the distinguished honor of being on the committee for
raising five million dollars for the purpose of placing a statue
of Bill Clinton in the Hall of Fame in Washington, D.C.

This committee was in a quandary as to where to place the statue.
It was decided that it would not be wise to place the statue next
to the statue of George Washington, who never told a lie, nor
would it be proper to place the statue next to the statue of
Richard Nixon, who never told the truth, because Bill Clinton
could never tell the difference.

We finally decided to place it next to the statue of Christopher
Columbus, the greatest Democrat of all time.  You will remember
that Columbus left home not knowing where he was going.
Upon arriving at a destination had no idea where he was.
When returning home he did not know where he had been, (although
he took all the credit) and Columbus did it all on somebody
else's money.

Over five-thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of
Israel, "Pick up you shovels, mount you asses, load your
camels, and I will lead you to the Promise Land."
Almost five-thousand years later, Roosevelt said, "Lay down your
shovels, sit on your asses, light up a camel, this is the
Promise Land."
Now, Bill Clinton is going to steal your shovels, kick your
asses, raise the price of camels, and mortgage the Promise Land.

If you are one of the fortunate people who have anything left
after paying your taxes, we will expect a generous donation from
you for this worthwhile project.

Fraternally,

John Paul Jones
Chairman, Bill Clinton Statue Committee

P.S.    It is rumored that Bill Clinton is considering changing
        the Democratic Party emblem from the DONKEY to a CONDOM,
        because it stands for inflation, protects a bunch of
        pricks, halts production, and gives one a false sense of
        security while being screwed.