From buddy Mon Nov  7 19:07:17 1994
Date: Sat, 5 Feb 1994 11:01:29
Subject: Some of Murphy's Laws


"Some" of Murphy's Laws:

 *  Anything that can go wrong will.
 *  Trust everybody ... then cut the cards.
 *  Two wrongs are only the beginning.
 *  If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
 *  To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.
 *  Exceptions prove the rule ... and wreck the budget.
 *  Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.
 *  Quality assurance dosen't.
 *  The tough part of a Data Processing Manager's job is that users don't really
    know what they want, but they know for certain what they don't want.
 *  Exceptions always outnumber rules.
 *  To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research
 *  No one is listening until you make a mistake.
 *  He who hesitates is probably right.
 *  The ideal resume will turn up one day after the position is filled.
 *  If somthing is confidential, it will be left in the copier machine.
 *  One child is not enough, but two children are far too many.
 *  A clean tie attracts the soup of the day.
 *  The hardness of the butter is in direct proportion to the softness of the
    bread.
 *  The bag that breaks is the one with the eggs.
 *  When there are sufficient funds in the checking account, checks take two
    weeks to clear.  When there are insufficient funds, checks clear overnight.
 *  The book you spent $20.95 for today will come out in paperback tomorrow.
 *  The more an item costs, the farther you have to send it for repairs.
 *  You never want the one you can afford.
 *  Never ask the barber if you need a haircut or a salesman if his is a good
    price.
 *  If it says "one size fits all," it dosen't fit anyone.
 *  You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
 *  The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.
 *  Love letters, business contracts and money due you always arrive three
    weeks late, whereas junk mail arrives the day it was sent.
 *  When you drop change at a vending machine, the pennies will fall nearby,
    while all other coins will roll out of sight.
 *  The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
 *  Experience is somthing you don't get until just after you need it.
 *  Life can be only understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.