From buddy Mon Nov  7 18:47:15 1994
Date: Wed, 31 Aug 1994 21:39:56
Subject: laws of the internet


First Law: Netlag is the Lowest Common Denominator.
Second Law: When you need to be Somewhere, You Can't Get There.
Third Law: The Sysop is Actually a Minion of Evil.
Fourth Law: When Sysop is Unavailable, all usually goes Well.
Fifth Law: You Will Never Have Enough Quota.
Sixth Law: Net Lag and the Need to Be Somewhere have equal and opposite
           reactions.
Seventh Law: The Internet is Habit Forming, and May be Hazardous to Your
             Health.
Eighth Law: The use of Internet Services while under the infuence of
            School could result in loss of Sleep.
Ninth Law: 2 + 2 = 3.9999999999999999999999999999999
Tenth Law:  When All Else Fails, Kick.
Eleventh Law: Netsex is Frustrating.
Twelfth Law:  If Law 11 is Not You, you are Sysop Material.
Thirteenth Law: Always Wear a Virtual Condom When Engaging in Questionable
                Acts With Strange Computers.
Thirteenth Law (b) When a Virtual Condom is unavailable for use, Type
                   Carefully.
Fourteenth Law: Always Remember, Your Existence Depends on the Electric
                Company.
Fifteenth Law: (Modem Users Only)  In an Electrical Storm, turn off your
               computer unless its a matter of Life, Death, or Net Sex.
Fifteenth Law (b) Disregard if the Computer is Owned by Someone Else.
Fifteenth Law (c) Completely Disregard if Computer is University Owned;
              they'll replace it anyways.
Sixteenth Law: Smilies :) are Universal.
Seventeenth Law: *Hugs* are Freely Exchangable for Other *hugs*
Seventeenth Law (b) However, *snugs* and *hugs* are Not Interchangable.
Seventeenth Law (c) *Snugs* are Exchangable for othe *snugs* only if
                    you can disregard Law Eleven.
Eighteenth Law: Never Pee On Your Computer.
Nineteenth Law: On a BBS, MU*, and so forth, If You are Female, you will
                be Hit On.
Twentieth Law: Real Life and Virtual Life Don't Mix.