From buddy Mon Jan 30 13:22:46 1995
Date: Mon, 30 Jan 1995 13:22:44
Subject: Bad! Xmas


          MERRY CHRISTMAS!

    You think you got it bad.

    All night long, soot in the chimneys, smelly socks, cross
dogs, shot at, mistaken for a stork, driving all night in the
snow, darn near killed in the backwash of a 757, Mrs. Claus mad
because I got in too late.

    AND THAT ISN'T ALL

    Donner and Blitzen and Rudolph got the diarrhea over
Albuquerque and you should see my suit. The stupid elves won't
clean the sleigh unless I pay them double time.

    I am so sick of cookies and milk, I could vomit. The only
highball I had all night is when I slipped getting out of the
sleigh.

    My prostrate is giving me hell, peed my pants at 20,000 feet
and froze to the seat. Allergic to pine needles, I itch all over.
I think my hemorrhoids are back.

    HO! HO! HO!

    Merry Christmas, my butt!