From buddy Sun May  7 21:48:43 1995
Date: Sun, 7 May 1995 21:48:40
Subject: Where to meet singles in 90s


       THE PLACES TO MEET SEXY SINGLES IN THE 90'S...SORTA
                         By Robert Mauro

     The usual places for singles to meet have been talked about
and written about for ages.  Take a cruise, they say.  It's better
in the Bahamas.  See Alaska's Winter Wonderland.  You can dance.
You can eat.  You can eat even more.  You can even watch the
icebergs melt.  But do you really want to spend way over a thousand
or more bucks to freeze in Alaska or sweat in the Bahamas?  And
what if you get seasick?  Can you afford all that Dramamine after
all those oh-so-costly cruise tickets and all those overpriced
souvenirs?  And have you packed the Imodium A-D?
     Another so-called place to meet members of the opposite sex
is the bar.  If you were one of those sexy singles who watched
Cheers on TV like I did, the bar scene looked very attractive.
Then you go to a bar and it's dark, crowded, smoke filled and
drunks keep tripping over you.  Occasionally one might puke in your
lap.  Is this fun or what?
     Then all those relationship gurus tell you to take a college
course.  You can meet a lot of "interesting, intelligent, eligible
men and women" they promise.  But are you really willing to pay a
few hundred bucks to listen to someone talk endlessly about
Shakespeare or Do-It-Yourself Home Repair just to meet a man or a
woman?  I don't know about you, but I've had my fill of Elizabethan
poetry and Bob Vila!
     So forget the usual places to meet the man or woman of your
dreams!  Try the following list of THE real places to meet sexy
singles in the 90's -- sorta!

1. The Laundromat.  Yes, tumble drying can be very erotic.  All
that steam.  Singles have been known to sit and stare for hours in
front of these dryers.  Actually these singles are day dreaming
about you.  So just walk up to that sexy single in the Laundromat
and ask, "Can I help you fold?"

2. The Dentist's Office.  This is very oral.  Need I say more?

3. The Lottery Line.  You're a gambler.  So is everyone else.  You
are ready to take a chance.  So walk up to that sexy man or women
on the lottery line and say in as suggestive a way as possible,
"Can I borrow your pencil?"  This works best if you're a woman.

4. The Flea Market.  People are out for a bargain.  But that
doesn't mean you're out for a cheap date.  Nevertheless, you might
try walking up to that sexy single and asking if they know where
the Sexy Lingerie booth is.

     Okay!  Now that you know THE places to meet sexy singles in
the 90's, here are a few places you definitely do not want to meet
any single anytime...but you never know:

1. The Police Station...unless you're into handcuffs.  Well, don't
knock 'em till you try 'em.  And then, of course, there is the stun
gun.  This, remember, can immobilize even the largest male.
Warning: never confuse a stun gun with a vibrator.  PaceMaker
wearers take note.

2. The Unemployment Line.  Not THE place to find THE "meal
ticket."

3. The Welfare Line.  See The Unemployment Line above.

4. The Attorney's Office -- unless you're signing a pre-nuptial
agreement, but then you've already met Mr. or Ms. Right. Hmmmmm?

5. The Funeral Parlor.  Very few people think death is sexy...still
there are a few.  You want to be an optimist here.  But not too
desperate.  Note:  Ladies, when looking for Mr. Right at any
funeral, please be careful of wearing too much make up.  You
definitely want to avoid that waxy look.  And, men, if you hear,
"He never looked so good!" do not assume the speaker is referring
to you.  He or she could be referring to the deceased.

     There you have it.  Soooo if you want it, go out and get it.
After all, you now know exactly where to find it!