From buddy Sun Jan  1 15:01:29 1995
Date: Sun, 1 Jan 1995 15:00:20
Subject: honorable mentions


These are the Honorable mentions ...

        the reason expensive delicacies usually "taste like chicken" is
that they really ARE chicken.  Frog legs, rattlesnake, sweetbreads, etc.
are actually totally inedible and fancy resturants have been fleecing us
for decades.

        Last Halloween, some kid was out trick-or-treating in a ghoul
costume with great fake latex wounds when he was hit by a car.  Doctors
spent so much time trying to sew up the phoney wounds that the kid died
on the operating table.

        While many conspiracy theorists have seen the so-called
"Zapruder film" Dallas city officials hastily destroyed the only known
print of the "Zuckerman film" a super 8 movie that clearly shows
President Kennedy being struck by a rock flung from the blades of a
Dallas Public Works Department lawn mower trimming the grassy knoll.

        Cool "Disco" Dan is really Dan Quayle.

        Coca-Cola had been gradually altering its formula.  The Classic
Coke we are now drinking is identical to the New Coke we rejected several
years ago.  We're just accustomed to it now.