From buddy Mon Nov  7 19:46:02 1994
Date: Sat, 29 Oct 1994 15:17:19
Subject: universal truths



 MEDIA, TV, FILMS
 -- The hell with the Prime Directive - let's kill something!
 -- Hello. My name is Batman. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
 -- He's dead, Jim.  You take his phaser, I'll get his wallet.
 -- I hate you, you hate me, let's go out and kill Barney - with a 
      9-millimeter bullet to the head, let's tell Baby Bop Barney's dead!
 -- I wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence.  There's 
      a knob called "brightness" but it doesn't work.
 -- I canna change the laws of physics, Captain, but I can find ye a loophole
 -- Gosh, that takes me back ... or forward.  That's the trouble with time
    travel, you never can tell.

 MILITARY
 -- The battle of the Gulf was won on the playing fields of Nintendo
 -- Friendly fire isn't.  Recoiless fires aren't.  Suppressive fires won't.
 -- Mules and donkeys aren't used in war because they're too smart to go on 
      a battlefield.
 -- The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming
      friendly fire.
 -- When you've secured the area, don't forget to tell the enemy.

 MURPHY
 -- Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the problem.
 -- For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
 -- If anything is used to its full potential, it will break.
 -- If pro is the opposite of con then the opposite of progress must be
      Congress
 -- There are no accidents - only plans other people don't tell you about.
 -- You always find things the first place you look, but not the first
      time you look there.

 POLITICS
 -- Foreign aid is the transfer of money from poor people in rich countries
      to rich people in poor countries.
 -- How come you never see a politician laugh?  Because they know what 
      they're getting away with, and if they started laughing, they'd 
      never stop.
 -- I don't blame Congress. If I had $600 billion at my disposal, I'd be
      irresponsible too.
 -- I wonder if the process of aging could be slowed down if it had to go
      through Congress.