From buddy Mon Nov  7 19:41:46 1994
Date: Fri, 30 Sep 1994 18:02:11
Subject: assorted humor


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Did you hear about the snake charmer who married an undertaker?  Their
towels say "Hiss" and "Hearse."
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"Hello, operator, I'd like to speak to the King of the jungle."  "I'm
sorry but the lion is busy."
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My dog eats garlic.  His bark is MUCH worse than his bite.
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A man is in the hospital, slowly slipping away.  His relatives are all
gathered.  His son goes and gets an extra chair and sets it beside the
bed.  The mother asks, "What's that for?"  He replies, "For Rigor Mortis
to set in."
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Sign in restaurant window: "EAT NOW - PAY WAITER."
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Teacher: "Billy, spell Tennessee."
Billy:  "One-a-see, two-a-see, three-a-see..."
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What did the man say when he dented the fender of his new Mercedes?
"Oh, well, that's the way the Mercedes Benz."  (Mercedes bends)
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Old postmen never die.  They just loose their ZIP
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Old lawyers never die.  They just loose their appeal.
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Old refrigerators never die.  They just lose their cool.
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Teacher:  "Billy, name two pronouns."
Billy: "Who, me?"
Teacher: "Very good."
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My dog is a terrible bloodhound.  I cut my hand once and he fainted.
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This isn't quite an oxymoron, but consider the language course:
beginning Finnish.
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"Waiter, there's a fly in my soup."
"Couldn't be, Sir.  The cook used them all in the raisin bread."
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Patient: "Well, Doc, what does the X-ray of my head show?"
Doctor: "Nothing."
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Are you a man or a mouse?  Well, squeek up!
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