From buddy Mon Nov  7 19:24:28 1994
Date: Fri, 11 Mar 1994 10:42:42
Subject: Some handy insults


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Handy Insults
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Anything preying on your mind would starve to death.

You're an honest man and I'm a liar.

Everyone enjoys looking at you.  It gives everyone pleasure to
see someone uglier than themselves.

I don't think you should worry about your looks.  You've suffered
enough already.

Why don't you start neglecting your appearance?  Then maybe it'll
go away.

You have a face like a wedding cake left out in the rain.

(Said to a man): Who said femininity in South Africa is dead.
Just look at you.

If you want a free granite headstone when you die, have them bury
you up to your neck.

You could turn every stomach in a herd of camels.

I'd like to make you writhe.  But that's your natural mode of
travel anyway.

You'll never have a second childhood.  You never left your first.

It's a sin to waste food.  So please stop eating!

I hear you have to do everything around your house.  Kick the
dog, thrash the kids, beat the wife.

You're the last man I expected to see ---- or wanted to see.

You give a lot of free advice.  It's good you only charge what
it's worth.

I don't think you'll ever be fired from the job of living.  You
look as though you've too much seniority.

You should be proud of your face.  It has obviously given you a
lot of wear.

You never seem to look any older.  I guess it's just not
possible.

You look old enough to be your own father.

Your ancestors evolved from hanging from trees by their tails to
hanging by their necks.

I hear you traced your genealogy back to royalty.  Let me guess
at King Kong.

Anyone counting noses would surely count yours as more than one.

You've got an ugly nose.  But it is better looking than the rest
of your face.

** You've had a free ride all your life --- on the rear legs of
a horse.