From buddy Mon Nov  7 19:20:42 1994
Date: Tue, 1 Mar 1994 20:43:32
Subject: funny shit!


Answering machine messages:
 
All our answering machines are busy.  Please hold.  (Pause.)
All our answering machines are...  (CLICK)  This is the
answering machine of...
 
Hello, this is David.  I don't live here, so if you were trying
to call me, you've dialed the wrong number.  On the other hand,
if you were trying to call John, Jim, or Eric, please leave your
name and number at the tone.  I don't guarantee that one of them
will call you back -- only that I won't.
 
You've reached Mike and Nancy's answering machine.  They're not
home right now.  At least, I don't think they are.  Hang on.
(Voice moves away from recording microphone.)  Mike?  Nancy?
(Voice comes back.)  Nope, they're not here, so at the beep...
 
Ring...click....(sound of loud music in background)...Hello? - just a second 
while I turn the stereo off (sound of person running to click off music, which 
gets quiet.  sound of person running back to phone) OK, sorry about that, hi 
there, who's this...well hi!... uh huh...yeah...well listen you're talking to 
a machine, so please leave a message and I'll call you back. 
(this ran for a while until a friend threatened to kill us after she said she 
had a 2 minute conversation with the machine.) 
 
"I'm writing the definative work on pain, and I would like you to tell me how 
the machine makes you feel.  Remember, be honest.  This is for posterity." 
 
(Rod Serling imitation)
You're dazed, bewildered, trapped in a world without time, where sound 
collides with color and shadows explode.  You see a signpost up ahead -- this 
is no ordinary telephone answering device...  You have reached 'The Twilight 
Phone'.