From buddy Thu Jan 13 10:52:35 1994 Date: Tue, 9 Nov 1993 14:00:25 Subject: More signs of the times ---------------------------------------------------------------------- These are actual signs seen across the USA: In a New York restaurant: Customers who find our waitresses uncivil ought to see the manager. On a movie theater: Children's matinee today. Adults not admitted unless with child. In a florida maternity ward: No children allowed In the offices of a loan company: Ask about our plans for owning your home. In a toy department: Five santa clauses, no waiting. On a Maine shop: Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices and workmanship. On military bases: Restricted to unauthorized personel On a display of "You're my one and only" valentine cards: Now available in multi-packs. In a funeral parlor: Ask about our layaway plan In a clothing store: Bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks In a men's clothing store: 15 mens wool suits -- $10.00. They won't last an hour! On an Indiana shopping mall marquee: Archery tournament. Ears pierced. In downtown Boston: Callahan Tunnel/No End In the window of a general store: Why go elsewhere and be cheated when you can come right here? In a Maine restaurant: Open 7 days a week and weekends In a New Jersey restaurant: Open 11AM to 11PM Midnight In a Pennsylvania cemetery: Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves. On the grounds of a private school: No tresspassing without permission In a library: Blotter paper will no longer be available until the public stops taking it away In front of a New Hampshire car wash: If you can't read this, it's time to wash your car. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Not a Through Street No U-Turn BUS STOP Buses Excepted