From buddy Mon Nov  7 19:30:45 1994
Date: Fri, 10 Jun 1994 08:33:22
Subject: HUMOR (offensive to handicapped)

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs who's ...

in your spicerack?  HERB
in a British restroom?  LOU
in a bank vault? RICH
in a porn flick? DICK
in a sound system? MIKE
in a sandwich? REUBEN
being climbed on? JIM
been run over by a train? BART
in a flowerbed? BUD
put through a meat grinder? CHUCK
being torched to death? BERNIE
in your gas tank? PHIL
under a steamroller? LANE
sitting on your drums? TOM
under a train? SPIKE
in a instruction book? MANUEL
stuffed in a carryall? PACO
swims like a fish? GIL
always asking for seconds at the dinner table? MOE
sitting next to MOE at the dinner table? LES
being cooked by cannibals? STU
in a hayloft? BARNEY
being stoned to death? ROCKY
in a chicken coop? HENRY
on a French farm? HECTOR
dying of cancer? KENT
been pushed into a swimming pool? BOB
been tacked to the wall? ART
skimming across the pond? SKIP
holding up a car? JACK
been tossed into an Irish fireplace? PETE
always getting shit on? JOHN
been stuffed into a wallet? BILL
been thrown in boiling water with a bunch of vegetables? STU
always getting stepped on? MATT
covered with mustard? FRANK
been mauled by wild animals? CLAUDE
been struck by lightning? ROD
makes you an offer you can't refuse? DON
dealing cocaine?  RICH
who needs a boil popped? LANCE
about to propose marriage? NEIL
a dyslexic Christmas carol singer? LEON
always wearing woman's sexy lingerie? TEDDY
always reminding you of a forest meadow? GLEN
helping you put up paneling? BRAD
always cutting himself shaving? NICK
steals money from banks? ROB
unable to sign his name? MARK
just pulled his gun in a gunfight? DREW
on a roll next to the toilet? SCOTT
underneath a pile of leaves? RUSSELL
just been made a Saint? BERNARD
job is making screwdrivers? PHILLIP
a chromosome researcher? GENE
just hanging out? WILLIE
sitting in your toolbox? STANLEY
who needs a shave? HARRY
Russian? RED
black? COLE