From buddy Thu Jan 13 10:51:02 1994
Date: Mon, 1 Nov 1993 12:23:36
Subject: The golfer and the frog!

A sunday golfer was playing the game.  As he prepared to hit to the
10th green he took out his 8-iron.  He set himself and got ready to
swing.  Just before he started his swing a voice said, "Take the 7."
He looked around, saw nobody, and set himself to swing.  Just as he was
beginning his backswing the voice said again, "Use the 7".  This time
he looked more carefully and saw a little, green frog sitting on the
ground.  And the frog said, "Use the 7."
        The golfer put the 8-iron back in his bag, took the 7, swung, and the
ball took off like an arrow and came to rest 4 inches from the cup.
        For the rest of the afternoon the frog hopped along with the golfer,
clubbing him.  At the end of the nine holes the golfer had a score of 38
strokes.  He'd never played the nine in less than 51 before.  As the golfer
started to leave, the frog said to him, "Let's go to Atlantic City."
        The golfer replied, "Look I'm greatful for your help.  But you
must be nuts.  I have a wife, children, a home.  Dinner is all ready.
Everyone is waiting for me.  I can't go to Atlantic City."
        The frog said, "Look.  Take me to Atlantic City.  You won't be sorry."
        So off they went to Atlantic City.  They took a plane to Phila-
delphia, then took a cab to Atlantic City.  They went right to Trump Tower and
the player sat down at the a Blackjack table, with the frog in his pocket.
        The first hand the player was dealt a 17.  The frog said, "Hit it."
        The player said, "Are you crazy.  You stand on 17."  The frog said "Hit
it."  The player signalled the dealer to give him another card and got a 4.
        All night long it went that way.  By 3:00 a.m. the player was ahead
$367,000.00.  And he was exhausted.  He cashed and the hotel put him
up in the suite reserved for extraordinary large gamblers - comp'd, of course.
        When the player and the frog got up to the room the player said to the
frog, "I'm going to draw you a warm bath and you can sleep in the tub full
of water."
        The frog said, "I don't want to sleep in the tub.  I want to sleep in
the bed with you."
        The player replied, "Are you nuts.  I can't sleep with a frog."
        The frog said, "Look.  I've done good for you.  You owe me...."
        The player thought for a minute and decided, what the hell, it's
only one night.  So he put the frog into the bed and climbed in himself.
        He was just about to go to sleep when the frog said, "Kiss me."
        The player said, "Look.  I went to Atlantic City.  True I got
very lucky and made a mint of money.  Then I let you sleep in the
bed with me.  But I'm not kissing any frogs."
        The frog said, "It wasn't luck.  Kiss me!"
        So the player said to himself, what the hell, and leaned over and
kissed the frog.
        All of a sudden there was a tremendous thrashing about in the bed & in
about 10 seconds, instead of the frog, lying there beside him was the most
gorgeous, sexy, stark naked, 14 year old girl.
        (Pause)
        And I swear to you, Judge, that's just the way it happened,
        that's the truth, the whole truth, so help me God.