From buddy Thu Jan 13 10:40:02 1994
Date: Tue, 19 Oct 1993 14:13:32
Subject: Offensive to lawyers

Q. Where can you find a good lawyer?
A. In the cemetary

Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
A. A vampire only sucks blood at night.

Q: What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?
A: When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.

Q: What is the definition of a "crying shame"?
A: There was an empty seat.


A woman and her little girl were visitng the grave of the little
girl's grandmother.  On their way through the cemetary back to the
car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in
the same grave?"  "Of course not, dear." replied the mother, "Why
would you think that?"  "The tombstone back there said 'Here lies a
lawyer and an honest man.'" 

It was so cold last winter that I saw a lawyer with his hands
       in his own pockets.

A man walked into a bar with his alligator and asked the bartender,
 "Do you serve lawyers here?". 
"Sure do," replied the bartender.
"Good," said the man.  "Give me a beer, and I'll have a lawyer for my
 'gator." 

I once saw a cute cartoon showing two people fighting over a cow. 
One was pulling the cow by the tail; the other was pulling on the
horns.  Underneath was a lawyer milking the cow.